Every trip I make, every travel experience, every adventure I have embarked on has taught me new things about myself. Honestly, without travel (and therapy) I would likely have zero understanding of myself. I would not know my values; I would not know my strengths; I would not know my limitations. I always take time to reflect on my return home as to what I want to learn about myself, and take back into my day-to-day life from each experience. Here is what my latest anniversary trip to CO taught me:
- Feeling Powerless Can be Sparked WITHOUT the Influence of Others. Up to this point in my life, I have felt powerless only through the influence of others.;Powerless was less of an emotion and more of a state of being. This trip taught me that powerless can, in fact, be an emotion and it does not need to involve other people. The great thing about emotion is that you do not have to dwell in it, you do have the ability to feel and move forward. I learned that in all situations where I have feel powerless, I have the ability to feel, and move forward. I cannot be forced to remain in a state of powerlessness forever. Take that, long standing PTSD.
- We cannot create change, if we do not put ourselves in the path of that you want to change. I am powerless to truly change anything within the bigger world (only within myself and my interactions). Even the powerful erosion of water on rock, only creates change in its direct path; some rock, some stone, will remain. It cannot create change where it does not run. Just as we, as humans, cannot create change without putting ourselves in the path of that which needs changed. If we want to see things like rape culture change, we cannot sit on the sidelines, we have to tell our stories, use our voices, and make change happen in our pathway. 3. My definition of beauty really needs some help. For me, finding beauty in nature is easy. A good view quickly takes my breathe away. However, my vocabulary for what makes these views beautiful is close to mute. I learned that I find the chaotic beautiful, color beautiful, textures beautiful. But what about those takes my breathe away, I have not quite put into words. 4. My physical health is lacking and needs to be improved. I would not say I am out of shape by any means, but one thing I want to take away from this trip is that I want (and need) to reprioritize my physical wellness. I want to learn to climb, and to run. Next time i am in CO, I want to scale a mountain. It’s so easy to get complacent in our workouts- for me it’s swimming. But I don’t want to be complacent, I want adventure and new things.
5. I am capable of pulling myself out of negative mind-sets, grounding myself, and settling my feet. Prior to this trip, my brain was not in the best place. It wasn’t in a bad place, but I was more easily stressed, anxious, overwhelmed, and over stimulated. I learned that by prioritizing nature, and exercise, I can in fact ground myself and pull myself out of anxious and overwhelmed.